11/16/2002

“Big Al” Qaeda Urges Americans to convert to Islam

Filed under: — Jeff @ 5:12 pm

This CNN article describes a demand by an unnamed El Kada henchman, for Americans to convert to Islamism. Since today is opposite day and I’ve officially decided to give the benefit of the doubt to all filthy, murderous thugs who give me advice, I’ve decided to do so.

So three hours ago, I became an Islamic Fundamentalist.

I’m not sure how to explain this, but my first instinct as a child of Allah was to try to remove my own stinking American heart with a soup spoon, and the second was to somehow try to blow up my Christian dog apartment complex. While I was thus in the process of hoarding large amounts of flammables in my apartment, Phet got upset at me and demanded that I finish cleaning the bathroom before commencing with my religious rebirth.

I have been reflecting on my experiences as a child of God, and I think that maybe it was all some kind of ruse by the bad guys to make us blow ourselves up. Take it from me, my fellow Americans: Islamic Fundamentalism is not the answer.

2 Comments »

  1. I need more information on the goings on in the middle east… Please sned all information to :

    Butterfly Holdings
    265 Port Union #15525
    scarborough, Ontario M1C 4Z7
    CANADA

    or

    Phone

    416-536-6020
    Fax:416-536-4585

    Comment by Brian — 12/21/2003 @ 8:57 pm

  2. Brian, I sent you out our standard packet of Middle East information.

    Please be aware that I sent it UPS, which means you probably shouldn’t leave the house until it arrives or they’ll hold it in the Montreal office for 16 hours then return it to JesusHQ.

    Comment by Andres — 12/22/2003 @ 11:51 pm

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