I am posting this as a public service, as a JesusH Honeypot like the Lane Staley and ODB tribute pages, and for my own future reference. Windows has a great feature for the differently abled and AOL users where if you hold down the shift key for more than 8 seconds, filterkeys (a really annoying function that sticks your shift key permanently on, among other things) will turn on. Here are the steps to turn off the damned thing.
1) When the dialogue box comes up to ask if you want filter keys, you can choose from Yes, Cancel, or you can just hit escape to close the box. Go ahead and choose any of those options. YOUR FILTER KEYS ARE NOW ON>
@) TRY HOLDING DOWN BOTH SHIFT KEYS AT THE SAME TIME> THAT WORKS A LOT OF THE TIME>
#) DIDN”T WORK? TRY HOLDING DOWN THE RIGHT SHIFT KEY FOR * SECONDS.>
$) NO DICE? TRY REBOOTING>
%) STILL STUCK? TRY A SYSTEM RESTORE (PROGRAMS > ACCESSORIES > SYSTEM TOOLS> SYSTEM RESTORE>)
^) IF IT”S STILL STUCK, FIND YOUR WINDOWS CD< AND FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO REINSTALL THE OPERATING SYSTEM> CHOOSE THE FULL FORMAT AND REINSTALL OPTION>
&) HERE”S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY: AT THIS POINT< YOU MAY WANT TO CONSIDER INSTALLING LINUX OR BUYING A MAC> With Linux, you can use your existing hrdware^h^h^h^h^h^hardware but you’ll invest a lot of time setting it up. With a Mac, you’re probably good to go but it will cost you a few large.
8) Important: If you do reach step 7, you may want to quarantine the affected system just to be on the safe side.
I’m something like 100% confident that following the above progression is absolutely, positively, nearly guaranteed to fix your problem.
It’s probably worth trying to disable this function permanently in Control Panel > Accessibility options > Filter Key Settings > Uncheck “Use Shortcut”, but I believe that option has been disabled by Microsoft for your own protection.
Good luck fellow Windows users. We’re all in this together, so help a brother out.
Google Key Words
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